I did the silence exercise last week. It was supposed to be a day and a half, but I was pestered by an inner voice at about the one day mark. I had had lots of insights and connections up to that point so I wondered why I was being asked to exit the silence. I followed the guidance – as I mostly do (I’m a rebellious White and feel the need to say no sometimes) and followed the prompts to turn on Gaia TV, look through the selections and choose a video.
Actually, let me backtrack for a moment just to give you some context… my whole life up to 15 was an exercise in conforming and staying invisible as much as possible. At 15, life became an exercise in sort of conforming and slipping my cloak of invisibility off one shoulder. I found that I viewed the world differently than my peers. You try fitting in anywhere with those dynamics going on! When I turned 30, it was the first time I was starting all over again (I’ve done it a few times now lol) and found that the different in me was winning. I followed my heart and have since learned several healing modalities, put most of them into practice and even manifested a contract for six years with a biofeedback company performing tech support and practitioner training. The different has been feeding me since 2002 when I quit my corporate job. All the modalities I’ve learned haven’t felt like a calling, yet they have… know what I mean? I’ve learned them, but I haven’t integrated them. I need to grow my inner in order to do a spectacular job BEing who I’m drawn to be.
So, when I got this nudge to turn on my computer and watch TV, I was thinking ok… are you sure? I was directed to watch a video on Shamanism. BAM! There it was. My next journey. The next makeover. I tried to share this glaring lightbulb that was blinding me with family and friends and I could read it in their faces… there she goes again! I guess what they may not understand is that I have Edisonitis. It may take me that thousand and oneth time to make the breakthrough I’m looking for. Goodness knows it’s rather apparent that I’m incapable of giving up.
As the synchronicities and connections for my new reality pile up, I’m in the midst of completely rewriting my DMP. The plan was to rewrite it and have it submitted over a week ago, but after the Silence it was clear a complete do-over was required, except for one or two key items. Apologies to my guides, this is taking longer than I said it would.
So, my Silence was interrupted (in a good way) and I found that one thing that Mark talked about that I was looking for right now. I’ll be scheduling another two day Silence very soon to complete what I started. No fear.